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Archive for the ‘Observing Life’ Category


If we had it to do all over again, would we (could we) do it better?

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What if you give up everything? You give up who you are, your family, friends, ideas, possessions, job, past and future.
What’s left?

Answer: This, just ‘This’!

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It seems to me that we appear to be individuals for one purpose, for survival. As an individual you have a need to live. This mean you must work, eat, sleep, etc. When we are children, and before we have any real identity, our parents help us with these things. At some point in our lives though we grow up, become individuals and figure out how to survive on our own. You can imagine that if this didn’t happen, if we were dependent on some-one or some-thing to provide us with what we needed, we wouldn’t survive for very long. You can almost see a biblical story reference emerging here can’t you? Adam and Eve depended on God, the provider. They later become aware of themselves as individuals and then are forced to leave the Garden of Eden to survive on their own. I am sure this story or idea has been told in many cultures and religions.

But the question remains, why do we feel the need to survive in the first place? Some animal instinct based on evolution, survival of the fittest? Maybe a better question is do we even exist at all?

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What do I not have at this moment? I do not have clarity on Truth. I do not have enlightenment. I do not have the answers.

So, who is the “I”? Maybe the “I” is something that cannot have answers. Maybe the “I” is something that cannot be enlightened. Maybe the “I” cannot know the Truth.

What good is the “I” then anyway?

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Last night while lying in bed, I was thinking about “me” and “I” and what those terms mean. Suddenly I had this very clear feeling that I was not me, or rather, there was two of me, the one I usually think of as me and which was positioned just above me and to my left, and then the me who was seeing the that there were two. Wow, that’s hard to explain.

There was this sudden rush of realization followed by what I guess you could call adrenaline and a loud unidentifiable noise…or silence..or something. That realization become so clear and sudden that it scared the crap out of me. The heart was racing, I was WIDE awake for a long time after that.

Not sure what to think of this really. Could have been an Out of Body experience or the start of an Astral projection. The thing is, I was “feeling” this more than seeing and it was from the perspective of body rather than the Astral. I am sure that I was not asleep yet, but … who knows.

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The problems I have may actually be problems that you have in disguise.

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